There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
