I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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