What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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