So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
