he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize