I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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