everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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