no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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