i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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