It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
