Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
