If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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