I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
