Sry I called you an 8
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
