What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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