He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
