This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
