Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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