she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
