How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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