it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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