I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize