I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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