I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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