WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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