Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Randomize
