If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
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