My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
