I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize