the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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