Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My pussy is not your playground.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
