So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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