he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
