I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
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