Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
