Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
