If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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