apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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