but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
