I don't think brook has ever known best
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Dick very happy bro
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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