I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
