oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize