I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
