So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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