Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
