my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
and she was petting her beer can
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize