We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
