I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
