My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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