Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
