I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize