hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
