is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
be right there i have to get my cape
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
