The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
