Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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