Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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