Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
