I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
