and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
