just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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