you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
