Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Randomize
