i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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