Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The convent might be a nice break from real life
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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