U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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