You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize