I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
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