So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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