Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm both gender and math confused
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
