Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
