How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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