Don't you send me to vm
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
