This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
COCAINE IS GR8
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