thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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