I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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