I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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