you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
