Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
