Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
